One-Eyed Men

In a land full of blind men the one-eyed man is king, isn't that how the saying goes? People, this sorry State is a land full of blind men, and it's looking more and more like I am going to have to settle for someone with one eye.

I am on match.com. Yes I know it's stupid. But what the hell. There is no one I want to date at work, and I don't do anything BUT work, so how am I supposed to meet anyone? But the pool of men even on this online site is pathetic. I keep getting "winked" at by men in their 50's, or boys under 26, or guys with missing teeth and all over body tattoos. Or nice looking guys with a high school education and a job in construction. Or even slightly compatible guys, except for the fact that reading their profile is like chewing cardboard it's soooo boring.

I'm good looking, I have an interesting job, I'm smart, well-educated, well-traveled, and well-rounded. Am I not a catch? Is there no similarly interesting man out there for me?

I decided to go out with this guy who seemed alright. We went out for a beer at a local pub, and from the instant he walked in the door I was certain the night would end with a handshake. Thank God for the Beer.

And the thing is, it's not like there was anything specific that was wrong with him. I mean apart from the fact that he didn't make eye contact, didn't seem to like his job or know what he really wanted out of life, and he hadn't had a serious relationship in five years. We made small talk, but it was uncomfortable. He just wasn't my type AT ALL. I really hope I don't have my standards up to high. But then again what's the point of divorcing your husband if you are just going to lower the bar?

A few weeks ago I had two dates with a cute and rather successful guy, who frankly wasn't really up to my level intellectually (And that is not a snotty comment - he saw the books on my bookshelf and said "have you actually READ all of those?" I mean, come on.). But the deal breaker was not a lack of enthusiasm for books, it was his lack of finesse in the romance department. What good is a cute one if he can't kiss?

I was talking to a friend the other day who also got divorced. She lives in Las Vegas now, where she is a lawyer. Funny huh? Law in that lawless place? Anyway, she told me that she is incredibly happy, but that she has seriously lowered her standards. And I just wanted to scream. In what way should I lower my standards? Should I shoot for older, less attractive, less intelligent, or less considerate first? If I lower the bar in one category significantly can I keep the other ones high? Ugg.

I am starting to think I would be better off investing the same amount of time in a marriage counselor a psychotherapist and a box of nicorette (my husband smokes which is a disgusting filthy habit that absolutely turns me off). Or maybe a sex therapist is all we need. Hmmmmm.