The Ice Cream Wars

I am picky about ice cream. You may have already figured that out, based on my refusal to bend to the whims of Berlin and his cheap ice-cream buying ways. Call me crazy, but I just think that with all the calories that stuff packs, you had better damn well be enjoying yourself while you're eating it.

The same night the Doctor broke my wine glass, we shared some post-coital Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream that he had brought over for dessert. A very thoughtful gesture I might add. You know you love a man when you can lie naked an bed with him and eat ice cream right out of the carton.

Now Ben and Jerry's is perfectly good ice cream, and by no means falls into the cheap, grocery store generic category that isn't worth the waxy cardboard it's packed in. However there was something off about this batch. For starters, it was really, really frozen. And while there wasn't anything really obviously wrong with it, it just did not press my "this is really delicious" buttons, and make the spoon move magically from carton to mouth all by itself. And that's really the test of ice-cream goodness. How hard is it to stop eating it, even when you're full? This one was too easy to put down.

So the Doctor ate his fill, and returned the carton to the freezer, the door of which he failed to properly close. So sometime in the middle of the night, when I stumbled to the bathroom, I found a partially open and defrosting freezer. It didn't seem to have passed the point of no return, so I shut it and went to bed. Crisis averted.

But the poor ice cream had already suffered. It got that disgusting layer of ice on the top, and even below the ice, the creamy, yummy goodness was now intermixed with crunchy crystals of ice that absolutely ruined an ice cream that had been already teetering on the edge of the sub-par dessert category anyway.

So for several weeks, the poor B&J's languished in the freezer, untouched, and relatively unnoticed, until I finally threw it out.

In exchange I bought two other flavors of Edy's to take it's place - vanilla, and Spumoni - two of my favorites. I figured since the Doctor really hadn't touched that cookie dough ice cream since it's inauguration to my freezer, he wouldn't really miss it.

I was wrong. When one gets a craving for ice cream, you go looking for it, even when it has long since passed its prime. It's like the And to prove that point, just other day, I was on the couch watching TV, when I noticed him rooting around in the freezer. And before I had the chance to ask him what on earth he was looking for (I already had a sneaking suspicion) he wandered slowly into the living room with a quizzical look and somewhat taunting glint in his eye.

"You threw out my ice cream, didn't you?"

He raised an eyebrow. I thought I saw just the slight crack of a smile, but he maintained composure.

"well....," I hedged, "it was gross. It was all frozen and yucky."

The Doctor nodded, the corner of his mouth turned up in a sly smirk. "Sure whatever." He said turning and walking away.

"Oh come on, you weren't gonna eat it anyway." I called out after him.
"Yes I was. It was perfectly good. there was nothing wrong with that ice cream," he said over his shoulder.

I bounced of the couch, followed him back into the kitchen and put my arms around his waist. I looked up into his eyes and we stared at each other for a moment.

"Are you mad at me for throwing out you're ice cream?" I asked trying to stifle a giggle.

"No, but I'm pretty sure why you did it."
"Why?"
"Cause you wanted to make room for all of your stuff. You got your ice cream, the kind that you liked, and there was no more room for my ice cream in your freezer."

Now I couldn't help it - I was full on laughing.

He continued. "I've never thrown your ice cream out of my freezer - my freezer is wide open to your ice cream."
"Whatever!" I shot back. My ice cream has never even made the acquaintance of your freezer, much less moved in."
"oh so that's how it is? Your ice cream would be welcome in my freezer any time, and would be in no danger of being tossed out. Ice cream should never be so hated."
"I'll get you some more - you want cookie dough?"
"No, no - the damage has been done. I understand. There's no place for for my ice cream here."
"I'll get you some more," I laughed.
"I won't eat it."
"Yes you will"
"No I won't."

I rolled my eyes.

The next day I stopped at the store and bought a gallon of Edy's cookie dough ice cream. It was the only brand of cookie dough ice cream they had (lest you think I am a walking advertisement for Edy's)

I sent him a text message.
"I got you a present." I wrote.
for the next few hours while he was at work, he pestered me about the nature of his surprise.
"If I give you a hint it will give it away," I told him teasingly.

He works nights, and the next day he came over after work, just as I was on my way out to work... In the freezer I left his present ... with a note (see above). He was sleeping when I left, but I knew he would find it when he eventually woke up and went rummaging around for something to eat. I was cracking myself up all the way to work.

The eventually found ice cream did elicit a good chuckle, though he still hasn't eaten any. I plan to break him down though. I'll leave him alone in the apartment with nothing to eat but that ice cream.

Or maybe I'll just eat it all myself. That'll teach him.